I’m starting new boxes because someone might have snuck fireworks in the last set.

How many of us had a plan and were moving through life successfully checking all of those boxes only to find that one day, someone loaded up those boxes and either moved them or chucked them off a cliff? I’m guessing quite a few of us or the universe wouldn’t have sent me so many people asking that I write a book or a blog or something. I have never considered myself a writer, but for whatever reason people seem to enjoy my stories – the good , the bad and the all out YIKES!

I’m going to briefly tell you what was in my boxes (that I’m certain were dumped cliffside) to give you some insight on the themes of my future entries. And spoiler alert… most of my boxes are in fact lost, empty or filled with a hodgepodge of sheer randomness. And really, that’s where I drew the inspiration for the title of this blog, “Forty Free Life?”.

I’m 43 and find myself rediscovering me and creating a new life. Sometimes I look at it and wonder what in the world I’m doing and other times I feel a weird sense of freedom in starting over. It’s not what I would have chosen if I had my way, but if it can’t be changed (and it can’t, I assure you) then I’m sure as hell going to make the best of it!

My old life consisted of getting a BFA in Costume Design (kind of random right?), marrying my high school sweetheart and having two amazing boys (now 20 and 16). We live in a beautiful house in the fairly small town in VA where I was born and raised. My degree wasn’t REALLY what you’d describe as high paying in this area, so as my husband’s career soared, I was gifted the flexibility to stay at home and raise the kids. It was amazing!!!

Now let’s zip forward a bit…

After 18 years, my marriage started to crumble right about the time our oldest was preparing for college. I decided I better get back into the working world. I took a job at the boys’ former elementary school since it had benefits and a schedule that would allow me time with the boys. (I want to soak up all that I can since these are the last few years of them being at home!) After my first year on my own and with the first year of the new job under my belt, I was ready to send my oldest off to college. But first…how about some breast cancer??? So yeah, there was that. (I’ll go into that some more in the future, but after doing the whole trifecta of chemo, mastectomy and radiation, I’m doing good.) And life apparently wasn’t done with us because a month before my mastectomy, my husband (who had moved out, but we were still very close) passed away. This loss was tough and I know one day I’ll go into it when the time is right, but I’ll be tucking that aside for just a bit. The main point of understanding that is for now, these posts will revolve around just myself and the boys in this new, crazy, sometimes overwhelming and sometimes exciting phase of life.

So… at 43 I find myself resolving that my previous boxes clearly had secret explosives in them! And now new boxes have arrived, and I’m staring at them pondering the intended contents as my kids get ready to start their own lives, and I debate about a house WAY to big for me, a job that I enjoy but most likely isn’t my true calling, and a town that I love but feel as if it’s time to possibly move on. Many people may have had the wind knocked out of them along the way, but I’ve been surprised as hell at the ability of my boys and I to bounce back. A big reason for this rebound is our sense of humor and I certainly hope as this project moves forward that translates. We can laugh at just about everything, most importantly – ourselves.

So stay tuned for hopefully some profound laughs as I reenter and recreate a life as a slightly naïve middle-aged woman. What’s it like to face and overcome some of my fears? What was it like staring down breast cancer and now (possibly) dating after a mastectomy and not having a first date in close to 3 decades? (I’m sure there’s some good humor in this one.) How do you go about leaving all that you know behind and starting new? And of course, hopefully something that I’ll have a chance to write about often will be one of my new found loves… travel!!!!

I very much hope that you join me for some laughs and that my stories benefit you in some way. I’m a big believer in synchronicity, so maybe one of you will comment something that will factor greatly into my new journey. Let’s do this!!!

Much love!

Kristen