Bookstore Kristen

Yesterday, my youngest child wanted to go school shopping and I’m just the kind of bang up mom to make dreams happen! (Sometimes…) But then I realized that we’ve hit that pre-drivers license, “I’m too cool for you phase.” This means, I throw my child in the car, pick up a few of his friends, throw a little cash his way, drop the party off at the mall and then retreat FAR, FAR away until I get my Uber-like text that it’s time for pickup.

So what’s a single, middle-aged mom to do to fill several hours away from home? Well, this mom starts with sushi and apparently, a bit of unnecessary emotional support from a waitress. She seemed a bit too concerned that I was sitting down to lunch at 2:00 and more importantly, by myself. A couple of people asked if anyone else would be joining me. It kind of seemed like the restaurant scene from Finding Sarah Marshall where Jonah Hill is surprised about Jason Segel dining alone. But I love eating out so solo dining or the constant “adultnapping” of friends to join me will be my new norm soon enough and I’ll need to embrace it.

FYI…solo dining moves SUPER fast! I only managed to kill off about 30 minutes, so I needed to look for something else to do. Shopping for myself was a no go because I’m in the “I absolutely REFUSE to buy the next size up” clothing phase. So…off to Barnes and Noble I went!

I don’t know if bookstores pump extra oxygen through the air ducts like it is rumored that casinos do, but I instantly perk up in there. I feel like a Kristen that is on the verge of great things!!! I’m not even THAT big of a reader! (Let’s keep that on the down low though, since I work in an elementary school library.) But seriously, I typically go through phases of reading a couple of books every year or two. Now in my mind, that will change very soon and I’ll read at least one a month. But… that’s been my mindset probably since I was at a Dr. Seuss like reading level, if I’m being completely honest.

However, once again I entered a bookstore feeling like I’m seriously about to get my shit together. I’m going to learn to cook like a top contender for Top Chef. I’m going to grab a travel magazine and figure out which island is just beckoning my arrival (and I’ll grab a new diet book, too so I’ll be bikini ready by then). I’m even going to figure out what my spirit animal might actually be (it’s an otter BTW), what color my aura is, AND how to clean it if needed!

Of course, later on when I walk out of the bookstore, I’ll realize that I’m too tired for the grocery store, I just got back from a trip and need to put a pin in travel for a bit, and cleaning my floors seems to prevail over cleaning my aura for the day! But, whatever… bookstore Kristen is AMAZING and I had at least four hours to sit and soak up all of the possibilities. (Since my laundry did not follow me to B&N, I actually could sit and cleanse my aura if I found it in the need of a wipe down.)

As I wandered the aisles and tables of books, I pulled from them as you would from an all you can eat buffet. Grabbing a little of this or that. A little travel? Yes, please! Self help? Why not! There’s always room for improvement? Classic literature? Comedy? Mystery? Why not! Young Adult and kids books? Well I do work in that elementary library so I guess I need to be current.

After about 3 hours, I still hadn’t received my “please come retrieve us” text. I sat in the back of the store with some Oreo cheesecake kind of thing, a cup of hot tea and about $200-$300 worth of books and magazines. I was clearly quite convinced that all of these will be most beneficial in some way to my life.  Have I mentioned that I work at an elementary library? I do. And not even that famous high paying teacher’s salary that you always hear about, but their assistant style salary. This is code for, many of these books and magazines needed to find their way back to the shelves. (Bookstore Kristen was a little disappointed at the lost possibilities.)

I pushed a Facebook plea for help through that little Wi-Fi world of wonder to help sort my way through the ginormous pile. One book that I’ve heard so much about that was echoed by my Facebook responses was Girl Wash Your Face. It was the first to make its way to the keep pile. Currently, I’m two chapters in and I’m in love already! A woman who publicly admits to those post baby, pee yourself moments!?!? Well that woman is clearly part of my tribe! Maybe our secret handshake of sorts can be trying to cross your legs quickly before a sneeze?

The next book that made it into the keep pile was Eat Cake. Be Brave. I haven’t started this one but just scanning it tells me that it’s pretty funny, too. If I don’t change my reading productivity time, I’d guess that these are my two books for the year. And yet…I bought more books!!!

I purchased three travel magazines because I feel the need to travel so deep in my soul that it pains me to stay in one place. The beauty that is out there in the scenery, people and cultures is beyond what I could ever begin to describe. And the chance to experience that and share it with my boys is quickly becoming one of my top life priorities.

The last book that I purchased was in the discount section and just spoke to me. I always have a book that jumps out at me. I walk around with it the entire time, often trying to put it back, only to pick it back up and walk some more. This process repeats several times until checkout. This particular time the book is When God Winks at You: How God Speaks Directly to You Though the Power of Coincidence. (I’ve always like the term “God Winks” and I have some ideas in the works to explore and write about my own series of God winks, so hopefully you’ll stay tuned for those.)

When I FINALLY got to checkout, I laughed to myself about the overall themes that I’d chosen to hone in on for this particular day. I thought to myself, “It looks like I have an awful lot of stuff to sort out in life, or that I’m preparing to escape from it all!” And then, I was humbled for a bit because I think that IS actually where I am. It’s probably why I’m here right now, blogging at my computer to share my journey with you. It’s why I’m hoping that through this journey, you can laugh at my randomness and see how it carries me through the ups and downs of life.

I do believe that we are tied into the universe in a way that we draw things in when we need them. I believe that there are undercurrents of themes that become popular because so many people are feeling them. I love how the first two books that I told you about were the books that I picked up within the first few minutes of my 4 or 5 hour bookstore visit. Both books are full of humor from women admitting their faults but sharing their successes. That’s such a beautiful place to be and to allow others to draw from as needed. Already, the tiny bit that I’ve read has made me stand a little taller, laugh a little louder, smile a little wider and try a little harder. I 100% recommend Girl Wash Your Face (and I’ll update this once I’ve read the others).

But for now, I realize that Bookstore Kristen, full of wonder and possibilities, dances in and out of my life. And that’s really OK! She gives me ideas of where I’d like to go and what I’d like to achieve. The real Kristen will certainly give it a shot – sometimes it’s a wonderful success in that whole caterpillar transformation into a butterfly kind of way. And sometimes, it ends up being such an absurd bundle of crappy chaos that it leaves me laughing so hard I have to cross my legs.